You are the difference

 I came to Hyderabad in 1996 in my 7th standard . I was coming from Vikarabad. It was a whole new world. Earlier to me Hyderabad was just a place where my grandmother and other cousin's live and we keep paying them visit during summer vacation. When we were supposed to move to Hyderabad , I was surprised,excited and scared too. I have never thought of any other place as home. Hyderabad was huge, it is impossible to walk to your school like before I had to take a bus, the roads were so big and everything was big. I felt as if its some sort of dream or something. I saw people hanging in the bus and wondering why can't they wait for another one. I saw how everyone is rushing and it was exciting to be part of it. The big shops with those big cars as models. Its a feeling that can't be expressed. I was loving every moment of it ,but the most important thing I remembered in the first few days is the way my teacher introduced me to my fellow classmates. This is the first time she came across me and what she said always is on my mind  "Beware girls, she is going to give you tough competition ."  I was surprised to hear that. I don't remember anyone saying anything like that about me. I always used to make sure that I am just good enough so that I won't get any scoldings from my dad as my sisters were always toppers and they used to bring lots of medals and awards every year . I used to make sure I had at least one. I never went overboard with excelling at anything because I used to think you just need to be a little bit faster than the one before you and you are safe. But the way my teacher put it, made me beam with pride. In my little brain I thought I should prove her right. I cannot have the person who has so much trust in me to think otherwise. That was the first time I started working hard. Just for my teacher.  I became the topper from then on there was no beating me , I was school topper, I was a gold medalist in Civil Engineering. That one sentence made a difference in my life. It made me who I am. It made me differentiate what I am and what I could be. It made me strong. It made me powerful.

Coming to present, I can factually say that I am at all time low in confidence. I feel powerless. I feel I failed miserably , not because of what I am but what I could have been.  I have wasted a whole lot of life in ifs and buts . I gave my trust where it was not deserved. I let things go their way but yesterday when I was having a conversation with my ex colleage,  he just said off hand "You are an inspiration as always. With your calibre I am sure you will rock the market." This again from someone who hardly knew me as a person. That took me back to that day in the class with my teacher. It helped me realize that there is a lot I need to achieve and accomplish. There are just a few bumps on the road and hell lot of unknowns but it is still the same me , who got lost in the track for a while.

There is nothing impossible and nothing insurmountable. It is just the same world with the different lens. The targets are bigger and the stakes are higher but you know what , you have YOU. You are the one who will make the difference. You are the power and don't let go of yourself , as your dreams can be achieved only by you.